Dee Dee Dunleavy and commenting on Nigella Lawson's life.

Sorry but I really do have to say something about this.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/furore-over-call-to-boycott-nigella-dee-dee-dunleavys-unfortunate-column/story-e6frfmq9-1226664885941

"Dunleavy has since tried to defend her initial blog, tweeting: "I did not call for a boycott on Nigella's books. That's absurd. My point is that she should file a complaint with police. Make a stand."


Obviously, Ms. Dunleavy has no experience in the area or she would not be calling for anything even remotely like this stance! I read one of her responses defending her comments where she spoke about a friend she saw going through spousal/partner abuse. Apparently that is the closest she has come to the reality of such a situation.

Allow me to put my sixpeneth worth in here. What did Ms. Dunleavy do when her friend went through the abusive situation? What effort did she put in personally to support and help in the specific circumstances she had some involvement in herself?

That's where Ms. Dunleavy's responsibility lies, not expecting others to fulfill what she should probably be doing herself! If Ms. Dunleavy feels strongly about domestic abuse as a cause she wants supported, it is up to her to stand and be counted among those working to deal with such matters!

Apart from anything else, there is shock and a grieving period when a woman has had to face that the excuses are no longer enough and she cannot tell herself the abuse doesn't matter any longer. This grief can take up to 2 1/2 years generally with the woman merely moving from second to second, numb and thinking no further than what she needs to do in the moment! For Ms. Dunleavy to expect anything of any woman in that situation indicates she has no idea what it's like.

So, I challenge Ms. Dunleavy to find out! There are women's shelters in Melbourne, mostly hidden away to guard the women from the partners/spouses trying to find them in order to continue their abuse or cover up their shame.

Maybe Ms. Dunleavy needs to spend time in those shelters talking to the women involved and find out what it's really like then maybe she will be able to figure out how to help those who survive from second to second and can barely visualize the next day, let alone envision any kind of a secure future.

And yes, I've worked with the YWCA and women's groups and shelters. I do know what it's like. It may take a good long time before Nigella can even remotely decide what she wants to do about other people's abuse, let alone her own. In the meantime, those who love her should be there for her and support her in her work so she can establish herself safely and securely; without having any pressures on her beyond taking care of herself and those she is responsible for.

Instead of boycotting her books and shows, now is the time to support her and buy them so she can create a new future for herself and those she loves, without having to endure abuse and harassment.

Love to Nigella! You go girl! 0:)

Ellen 0:)